When You Go For A Run In India

You see, as a new runner, I am experiencing some weird stuff here in Bangalore :D I mean, I ain't no seasoned runner okay, just the month before I left to Mangalore and now,I am resuming. But some pretty funny stuff happen to me most times. Pretty funny people, actually. Thought I'll make fun of them. What is life if you can't make fun of it, know? 

PS: These are specific to my neighborhood only, please do not get offended. 

PPS: Don't get offended, really.

PPPS: Beyond that, its your wish, really. 

1. The 'OMG SHE IS RUNNING!' lookers

Honestly, calm down. Take a deep breath. All is well in the world. I am running, that's all.

2. THE 'I'll tell you how to get fit' guys

I am talking to you, Mr.KnowItAll. Really, I know. I know the difference between jog and sprint and walk. 
PS: You are way beyond creepy.

3. THE 'I won't let you run because I am walking too slow #yolo' people

Because who can run while belting advice to innocent new runners? You own the university roads, I know. Here is a slow clap for you. 

4. THE 'We are going to makeout in the name of fitness' couple

Three words: GET A ROOM.

Four words: GET A FREAKIN' ROOM.

More words: We are here to get fit. Yea, your significant other looks *gross* hot *gross* sweaty *eeww*, but really, GET A FREAKIN ROOM.

5. THE 'I am new, tell me how to run' newbies

Umm,try running? Like seriously, stop being so paranoid of calories burnt and steps taken and blah. Run till you drop. Just don't drop. Seriously, don't. Oh and yea, I am not your Google.com.

6. THE 'I am gonna lose 10 pounds today, bitches' over enthu cutlets

See, you packed on all that weight over months, you won't drop them all in this run. Don't trust me? Okay. See you tomorrow. While you lose all that weight, please run back home. If you keep running like that, you'll reach Mysore. Or, your heart might burst open like that. The latter might happen first. *I am pretty sure you won't listen to me anyway, huffing like that.* But the moment you out run me with the smug face,

7. THE 'I have to track every inch I run' smartphone addicts

For the love of God, its okay. Don't count all the steps, I know your footsteps matter. #Chill.

8. THE 'NSA is watching me' paranoids

Since you are already running, you are faster than the average walker. Its okay, don't stop, turn around and resume running like every 3.23 minutes. How do you keep that heart rate up, bro?

9. THE 'We are hear to oogle at all the running girls' creeps

Get a life.

10. THE 'I think I am hot while I sweat like that' guys

No, you are not. Stay eight feet away from me if you are sweating and stinking like that. It doesn't make you hot, running makes you hot, not when you are actually running. Getting me? Good boy!

11. THE 'How I Lost My Weight' story tellers

I can absoeffinlutely understand your success story, congratulations. That's a marvelous thing. But as you can see, I am bored. That is because this is like the 400th time I am listening to the same story. 

That takes me to,

12. THE 'HIII!!' people

Wait, how are you always around telling your story to me? #StalkerAlert. 

13. THE 'OMG you know what!' incessant talkers 

See when you talk, I have to take my ear pods out. That makes me have to pause my music. And that, makes me angry. I'll show you seven shades of crazy if you interrupt me one more time.

14. THE 'HEY! Not at all, tell me bro! Sup?' people

How do you even talk on phone while running? Like really, HOW?! 

15. THE 'Can I have your number? ;)' guys

No. 

So yea, these are the characters I have come across while running. Let me know what is your story. 

Or, if you are one of the characters ;) 

Follow me okay? 

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PS: All the GIF images are googled. They don't belong with meeeeeeeee, they don't belong with me. *sob*