Saturday, 15 September 2012

Its No Dudee-ism, really.

After the fantabulous response to what women shouldn't wear, I thought let me make a post for all the dudes out there :P See, lets be honest here. We chics have a plethora of fashion blogs and weeks and amazing bloggers like me *ahem* to guide in the right way of fashion, but what do the poor guys have? Tch tch. The choice of clothes they have is also somewhat limited know? At the end of the day, its pants, shirts, tshirts and shorts :o Come to South India and you see lungi clad Adams too ;)
Still, with the very less choice of clothes too, they make so many different and varied faux pas of fashion, that I am going to list down now. I'll also list the personal hygiene aspects that make me tear my washed-and-always-smells-pleasant hair! Okay?

1. Low Rise Jeans aka See-My-Bum-Jeans
Dear Dude, we understand. We don't expect you to be Christian Bale. We know you can't wake up and drop down out of bed to straight push ups. *Hmmm Ummm!!* #BearWithMyBatmanObsession.ILURVEMyBatmanVeryMuch. Implies,l we don't really expect you to have a chiseled body. No. We ourselves are no perfectly sexy cat women. So please, stop torturing us with the images of your very-unsexy-bums. We sincerely don't like it.

Yes.

No.



 Unless you are John Abraham with the hottest bod, cover your derriere up :) Low waist jeans are supposed to be worn by tall men with wide and strong torsos. You shouldn't not expose your backside like that. Public offence.

2. OVER sized shirts/tshirts/pants or Super Tight same things
See how I made the letters of over capital? There is a wonderful reason behind it. You know what it is? DONT! For the Love of God (and your poor girlfriend), wear clothes that fit. Like neat, proper fit. Don't wear dresses that are 5X bigger than your size. Neither should you wear your 8 year old nephew's Ben 10 tshirt. We don't appreciate the tshirt hugged figure. It makes us feel breathless in an undesirable way. You know like, "OMG, his tshirt is so tight :o What if he gets asphyxiated?". If in doubt, take your girlfriend/sister/colleague/any female with a basic sense of fashion when you go shopping. Ask for their advice and take it. They will tell you what fits, what doesn't. Problem solved. .(But your girlfriend will look very very pretty and sexy in your shirts and tshirts though ^_^ Its over sized for her and just the top is enough to cover her enough ;))

3.Graphic tshirts
I basically love graphic tshirts on a guy. They give a playful yet geek look to those godlike washboard abs. But graphic tshirts can be a wee bit tricky. Wear too much and you'll look Ross's nerdy scientist friends.Go easy on the prints. Let them not give our delicate eyes a sore. Also, refrain from offensive and vulgar quotes on your teeshirts. It makes you cheap, that's all.



4. Dirty shoes
HATE! We know you own a decent number of shoes. Make use of them. Just because that Puma pair is your favorite, don't abuse it. Select a few pairs that are in good condition and wear them alternatively.



5. Smelly socks
ARGHHH! :@ This is one thing I just can't stand. I am sure your mom gives you enough pocket money to have atleast 6 pairs of socks. Offended by the term 'pocket money'? WOW! Then I assume you can afford to buy a dozen of basic pairs of socks. Wear a washed pair everyday. PLEASE! See I will explain how the female brain works. We enter our Programming labs okay? They are air-conditioned. The lab incharge will seperate us from our besties because we talk a lot. #NotYourProblemIKnow. What happens next is a dude will be seated next to us. We will exchange a shy smile and switch the systems on. After two and a half minute, we get a whiff of rotten rats. We sniff further with a scrunched nose on the disgusted face, and the rotten rat trail leads us to you. Over. You will be registered as the Guy With The Smelly Sock all our life. And we will never date you. Ever.



Sad know? Now you understand the importance of clean socks? You did? Very good :) Now you are half as adorable of Phoebe's Smelly Cat :)

6. Stink
By now you should know we hate all kinds of stinks. #WeCarryDeosWithUsToSmellGoodAllThroughTheDayOkay? You extra like us when we smell good know? Don't you love the smell of our freshly shampooed hair? Don't you recognize us from 5 metres away with the distinctive yet wonderful fragrance of our shampoo+perfume? Don't you get the dreamy feel those evening dates at PVR when we lean on to you and watch that bloody sappy movie hand in hand? CAN'T WE EXPECT YOU TO SMELL HUMAN ATLEAST THEN? Please please please use deos. There are plenty of affordable deos and perfumes available. Invest in a good one. And smell good. We will extra love you then.



7. Excess Hair
Okay. I ain't asking you to get your eye brows done or your arms waxed. I ain't asking you to get your bikini lining laser treated too :D *LMAO! :D* But please, unless you are a yogi practicing in Himalaya everyday, or you are a drug addict that wants to die soon, shave/trim regularly. A stubble is very very sexy, I swear it is. But excessive bird's nest like hair on you is plain gross. As testosterone heavy humans, I know hair removal is difficult for you. But please, get rid of the hair that peeks out of your collar and in between your shirt buttons.GROSS is the word my friend. You have no idea how much bravery it took me to type the two previous lines, so understand the importance.



8. Very short shorts
Hmm! You know Robert? Of Friends? This guy? He wears this very short shorts. You know what Gunther tells him? "Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house" We  Gunther. Don't make us say what Gunther said. Just the way you expect your partner to be just yours, we expect the same from you. Errmm :D



9. Lungis
This is exclusively for South Indian men over the age of 35. *I haven't really seen any of my cousins or friends wearing lungis :P Atleast in front of me :D* Please don't wear it outside, it is supposed to be a inside wear, like nightie. Also, its worn by priests and other spiritual men. If you do, don't swirl it up and tie it in, exposing your very private possesions in the process.




 Unless you are Rajnikanth, you shouldn't not do it.


Other general rules include - 
  • Avoiding wearing the undershirt as an actual shirt. Why? Because it is the undershirt, meant to absorb sweat and the like.
  • Have neat nails. No, you don't have to get a pedicure/manicure done, but please have neat and clean nails, for the sake of health atleast okay?
  • Wear ironed clothes. We don't wrinkled clothes.
  • Wear socks that are long enough. When you cross your legs, we don't want the beautiful view of the hairy ankle.
  • Buttoning your shirt so tight and up to the neck, that it strangles you. Don't do that.
I also did some research and found a nice site for you guys - Fashion Beans. Its got neat sections and a lot of information :D


Now these are the crimes I could think of :P Girls, let me know more through comments section. Email them this post, or print and gift :D  Let the Men Centered Fashion Revolution begin.
PS: Incase you do that, I Am Not Responsible For Offenced Men And Cancelled Dates.

PPS: Images are not mine, I google-d them.

Love,
Namita 

6 comments:

  1. true all those..its always fun to read your posts Namita <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aawh thanks you di :* So glad to see you back!8)

      Delete
  2. yes we guys are guilty of all this and more...at times we stick like hell

    (Its time I bring out my new set of hankies, old ones have become too yellow now)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aaawww :D Thank you Pesto Sauce, I am so glad you you are accepting it :D Haha :D

      Delete
  3. :p...I think I should show it to my husby:P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aaaww :P I hope he doesn't get too offended ;)

      Delete

Leave comments, let me know you were here :)
PS: Please refrain from leaving links behind, I shall click on your user name when I want to visit your site :)