By now you know how much I hate cliches, and how much I am a sucker for those. Yea yea, love-hate relationship is a cliche. Like always, I love spending the last day of the year ruminating about all things that happened to me, and all things to whom/which I happened :)
The year started with me fiercely promising myself to stop being a miserable cow and start being happy. For most parts of the year, I was. I was really, really happy. Genuinely, there's-spinach-in-my-teeth-but-I'll-grin-cuz-yolo happy. So, thank you :* Initially I had to put in efforts, but then, it became character. So much so that these days when I catch myself being whiny and sad, I miss my own happy self :D Win? I think so too. *Self five, Barney style*
Another promise I made myself was to be really fit, like those Are-you-even-human?-fit-Instagram-girls. Sadly, I kind of failed. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'll give my fitness a 4 this year -_- Yea I lost weight all right, but I didn't really hit my target. So the coming year's first quarter is going to be I, my fitness and my squats :) *right after I gobble down cake and chips and coke tonight and wake up at 9 30 AM tomorrow. I am shameless like that*
2014, you've been a darling year. You witnessed many, many of my firsts, and quite a few of my lasts :D I understood the value of being single and falling in love with myself, le self obsession be reaching new heights. I am not even kidding about it. I lived on my own with my bestie-cum-lesbian-lover-cum-love-of-my-life-girlfriend Seema for over a month in Mangalore. I realized many things then:
1. I have cleanliness OCD. Actually I do. I had always thought and found solace in proclaiming that I am an irresponsible, unclean homeless freak who loves having a mountain of clothes on her bed. No. I freakin' love clean sheets.
2. I am high maintenance. I can't just bring myself to survive in minimal conditions. I am a spoilt brat like that, who requires at-least one complete room to herself - furnished with wifi, unlimited supply of food, hot water and snacks. Got a problem? Talk to daddy. He is the reason I am so princess-y. *smirks*
3. As much as sad I was over a broken heart, I moved on and how! Though I am starting to sense commitment issues these days, I think its just because I expect every potential boyfriend material to understand me like Seema does. Unfair? I don't think so. I mean c'mon! How difficult it is to:
1. Have good English and grammar. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
2. Understand when I want to talk nonstop and chatter and eat your brains off, and when I want to keep quiet. I mean boss, your breathing is disturbing me. Ssh.
3. Have them biceps and jawline and stubble.
4. Be a man. Don't be so intimidated by me -_-
5. Be atleast around 6 feet tall. I am a midget. I don't want midget babies and because I love babies, I don't want to sell them on OLX for height reasons. Plus, short girls are like bloody awesome. I am living proof.
4. Me and Seema considered changing our sexual orientations. I really, really love her. I physically hurt when she is not around :(
Umm so yea, after coming back from Mangalore I got placed :D Like a boss :D I have been more shocked, more so than surprised when I got placed 'cuz I never believed I was employable. I mean when pre-placement training was on, my one and only question in HR training was, "Umm can I like paint my nails pink and wear lipstick? You see I feel awkward if I have to plait my hair and all?" Don't even get me started on my technical skills.
Coming to many firsts, too bad I can't list them ;) Uh-oh. Coming to many lasts, umm I stopped being miserable :D And I stopped holding myself back. I have learnt to take on risks and stop rotting in my comfort zone. I mean these days I am usually up for spontaneous impromptu plans. Its so much better than spending all day rolled in your rug and drinking coffee and hate drinking water 'cuz you've to pee.
I am so much more fun, I have made hell lot of new friends. Boy, so many new people :D I've become less sappier, more happier. Hence the lack of heart tearing posts, and more knee jerking posts. I am more of a loafer now :) Proud one, at that. Seema tells me I have stopped being Sati Savitri, finally. And more of a Siren. I'll take that as a compliment. Apparently when someone says, "He is staring at your ass, bro" replying with a "Is he cute?" is not being a good girl. WTH, know? Don't get too hyped on that either, I am just trying to be badass. I haven't snorted cocaine and gone riding on Royal Enfields, half naked in the middle of the night, whisky in one hand, weed in another :D I am too docile for that. While still on that, I am spending tonight in bed playing Uno with my family and eating cake and chips and drinking coke.
We moved to a new house. My new place is fantastic. I have my own rooms to study, sleep, workout and be philosophical in general. There are million new spots for product photography, though I miss the coconut tree compound of my old place :( This house is 10x bigger, but I miss having my siblings squabbling in my room all the time. They're growing up in their own rooms and becoming snootier - damn the cellphones and texting. UGH. Shit, I am becoming old.
All said and done, 2014 is one the bestest years of my life :) I have gotten better
and wiser. No, not wiser. I have lived in 2014. I have my moments, my regrets, my mistakes, my yays and nays. I have understood myself a teeny bit more and learnt to accept people the way they are. I have learnt that life is messy and effed up and not always fair, that people will hurt you and make you smile, and sometimes, there is just no explanation and that wounds leave scars and in spite of all the tears and heart wrenching, life is a beautiful, beautiful thing :) I know not to judge a book by its cover, and sometimes people do things that has nothing to do with you. And at the end of the day, you've to love yourself more than anybody else and marvel at the epitome of awesomeness called you :) There will be hundreds out there better than you, younger, prettier, smarter and snarkier, but nobody can ever be you, and that's all that matters. Plus oh, all you have to live by is your standards. If you can go to bed at peace in your heart and no load on your chest, if your conscious is on your team, you are one amazing person :)
I am gonna miss you, 2014. Here's to a 2015 - to more kindness, to more happiness, to more smarty pant comebacks and more love. To joy and cupcakes, to true happiness and pizzas. To hoping to be found by the love of my life :) yea, because wanting to find is just so much work -_- Plus I am like so awesome or what? He should be finding me. 8)
And, a big, big thank you to all you readers who come by and read my banter and tell me how fabulous I am. I know, you little liar you. But thank you, without you, this tiny little space I own in the huge, huge endless infinity of world wide web would be so, hopeless.
I am wishing you all a very fantastic and happy new year :) May you all buy more gadgets and ignore one another while being together. Okay kidding. May you all get whatever you are wanting - people, paisa, daaroo, happiness, health, fitness, graduation, love, lipstick, that perfect match foundation :') Girls, may your mascara be never ruined and may your winged eyeliners be always even. Guys, may your bikes and cars never run out of petrol and let the item you are hitting on never friend-zone you. Just stay awesome, y'all.
Now go get ready to go rock that awesome party you all are geared up for, thanks to having a social life. I will go back to little world of earphones and laptop and watch movies and sitcoms because end of the year matlab I have to watch a rom-com. Just me things.
Those of you with no social life and are on my team, I am watching Jab We Met this evening. We can watch together may be? You on your laptop and me on mine?
Until next year,
*Sorry, I HAD to make that lame pun*
PS: I am ending the year with an unhealthy obsession to this song.