Tuesday, 11 September 2012

No.Don't wear that.Seriously.Don't.

Have you ever looked at a person, who is not Scarecrow from The Dark Knight, and got the shock of your life? Pure annoyance and complete embarrassment for being born as a female species of homo sapien? I have.

I have finally reached the saturation of these god-awful everyday 'fashion', and want to list down the basic rules. Really,fashion police should shoot these crimes in the heart and hang upside down :\ 

Crime 1: Wearing a salwar kameez, and a sweater, and a dupatta over it
WHY? Feeling cold? Wear the sweater. Still feeling the chill? Wear a thicker one. DONT drape the damned dupatta all over the sweater. It looks plain awful. The dupatta is provided to give a feminine grace. It can be used as protection from cold and rain in extreme conditions only >.<
If you want to wear your sweater, please put it on, keep your dupatta inside, safe and sound. 



Crime 2: Huge pants, huge tops or Tiny, fitting pants and tiny, fitting tops
The basic rule of fashion says, when you wear a loose bottom, wear a neat, fitting top, and vice versa. Please don't wear a pant and a top so huge that Santa Claus will borrow them from you for Christmas. Oh and you don't have to spill out of your dress either. They said fitting, not a fighting between your muscles and the poor fabric. When you wear a fitting top, or a bottom, wear a relatively loose top, or bottom. Looks way better and comfortable. That way, I won't feel the urge to lend you my stole in advance, incase your top bursts open :|

You like? No know? :)



Crime 3: Leggings with everything
This is probably the worst thing to have ever happened. Leggings get paired with practically everything - from t-shirts to shrunk-to-short nighties. Even if you have a figure to kill for, wear a neat, long top that reaches atleast almost your knee level. Leggings are made of a material that stretches when you bend. You see, we don't want to see your curves. And more. Its plain gross. I swear. Also, if you are on the heavier side, DITCH the side-slit-tops with leggings. Go for balloon cuts that don't go up in the cardinal directions when the wind blows.



Crime 4: Bell bottom pants with long, over flowing tops
For the love of God, don't. Infact, not everybody can carry a bell bottom pant. If you want to still try, wear proper tops that end at your waist. This way, you don't end up looking like a pillar decorated with various lengths of fabric.



Crime 5: Wearing the goddamn nightie all through the day
Its called The Mighty Nightie for a reason, wear it at night :) Please okay? Nighties are made up of translucent material. They don't have lining. They are supposed to be worn at that time and that place, when only your husband, or boyfriend, or mom can see you. Yes. Even if you wear the nightie with a sweater(again), don't roam around in it - bringing milk, dropping kids off to school, fetching newspaper. Don't. As soon as you wake up, change to something more presentable. Rise and Shine sans the nightie. #ThinkStraightDirtyMind


AGHHHH!! >.<


Crime 6: Panty lines
They suck. Period. Don't let a poor panty screw up your complete outfit. Nobody wants to know the color, fit and design of your lingerie. Its meant for the special people, lets keep it special.Oh and we don't like camel toes too :)



Crime 7: Peeping brassiere straps and slip straps
I know I know, you are innocent when it comes to this, but ya know what? Regularly update your lingerie collection. They get stretched, and go old too. And you won't remain the same size all your life. Measure yourself every six months, and go for the perfect fit. This way, you are safe from breast cancer too.


Crime 8: Not-Really-Translucent-Clothes
Some clothes are bipolar. They are fine when there is no artificial light around, but when a beam of artificial light falls on them, BAMM! They end up translucent, and give away the not-so-needed-details.



We all have mirrors at home, don't we? :) So, every time that you are getting dolled up and leaving, check yourself 100% in the mirror. When you are doubtful of the sheerness of the dress, check the whole goddamn dress in artificial light too. 

Now, I'll list some more crimes. They are majorly related to college. Repeat after me, that way you will be reminded of it every morning. And also, you can make others repeat these too :) They are very simple yet very very effective :) 

1. I will not wear leggings without a long top, skirt or dress that will cover my derriere. I'll make sure my leggings are not see-through.

2. I will not wear lame ass quoted tee shirts. When I wear a tee-shirt that reads 'My face is UP here   ", the on-looker will obviously know that I know that he was infact staring all the while. That makes him/her, and the rest of the human race feel very funny in a not-so-funny way. So, I won't. Pinky promise.

3. I will wear clothes that fit me - not tight, not over flowing.

4. I will not dress up like a rainbow. Having colors in my outfit is one thing, but wearing a black pant and a bright orange t-shirt, coupled with a blue belt and green flats, red nails and yellow jacket makes me look like a fruit stall that is not-so-sweet.v So, I'll limit the number of colors and spare the poor people of an eye sore.



5. The number of prints on my dress should always be inversely proportional to how much I think I should wear. Prints are better off being less :)

Not everybody can carry this


6. I'll keep in my mind my body type. If I am not skinny, I won't wear dresses that are meant for them and out of which I'll spill out of. 

7. I'll not wear skimpy clothes to college. I will not expose unwanted body parts and cry foul when guys stare. I'll always dress modest and neat. Pretty and cute may be. I am not a stripper.

PS: I don't mean to offend anyone. This article is written keeping in mind the general health, emotions and mind states of poor audience that don't deserve unsightly sights from unknown women. #PervertsAreAnException

Image sources: Google-d. I don't claim any ownership.

Love,
Namita 

39 comments:

  1. an awesome read namitha.. I agree with u on each and every point discussed here :)

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  2. nice post....agree that all 8 re fashion crimes!!!

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  4. awesomely written . . and hilarious presentation . . .likey !!!

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  5. nicely written....the rules apply to corporate environment too

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    1. Thank you Opal! :) Corporate fashion is a whole new wing again :D

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  6. hahahahahahahahha Namithaaaaaaa you did it again babe!!! Loved the article and trust me I know quite a handful of people who will do good after reading this ;) SUPERB!

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  7. awesome post...loved each n every points :)

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  8. Wonderful post..this reminds me that don'ts are even more important than do's :)
    Babe I have an award for u...check it here http://budgetbelleza.blogspot.in/2012/09/its-liebster-this-time.html

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    1. Aaw thank you Budget Belleza :) yea, avoiding the donts is better than knowing the dos :D
      Really? Sure! :D Thank you tons :*

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  9. Great read! I concur with all, especially number five! Nothing annoys me more than that :3

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    1. I totally get that feel :/ thank you Belle :)

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  10. LOL LOL LOL!!
    Super duper post.. nice read :D :D

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  11. I agree! Some of these example pics are hideous!

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  12. awesome article...really loved it.... :)

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  13. Brilliant post!!!!!!!!!
    I have been scared to death by some women with their horrible dress sense.

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    1. Hehehe thank you :) Totally agree on the death scare :P

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  14. I so totally agree with you!!! It's like people wear things that's has 'wrong' written all over and the most annoying things is, they don't seem to care!!
    Take the dupatta+sweater combo, so not cool! And don't get me started on the leggings saga. I could rant all day.
    Thanks for all the tips, now no girl has the excuse to dress bad LOL

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    1. Maila :D you are as fierce as me in this topic LOL :D I would love to see that rant ;)

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