Its not yet raining here. I am in my usual spot - by the window. Lana is crooning in the background, its like a dark paradise. I start my pre-final year in college tomorrow. The three month long vacation is finally over. I am really, really excited to start a new year. Academically, yes. Life wise its a new chapter too. The past four+ months have been a total roller coaster ride. I have lost and I have gained. I have turned down. I have used and gotten used. I have made mistakes, learnt lessons. Most importantly, I have changed. A lot. I am not the girl that started the blog anymore. This girl now is what society calls --> bitch. I have learned to say 'No'. I have learnt to make myself the top priority. I now know my likes and unlikes. I am now what people call rude, aka cut throat. I now know to sort my emotions, select the ones that matter, and trash can the ones that don't.
I am more honest with myself, and people these days. The number of friends in my list has gone up, and in life, has gone down. The ones that are still in here with me are the only ones that are ever going to matter. Oh and I won an iPad :D I never really officially bragged, but I won this iPad for a contest entry on Indiblogger. You can find the widget in the right side bar :) Here is a picture of my baby :)
I have been helped by close to a dozen people, I have helped some too. Its beautiful how somebody can read you like a book. How somebody's just being with you makes it all so much better. I am so thankful for all that, you know :) If not for these people *if you are reading this, you will know this is for you*, I would have been shattered glass. I don't know what life, or destiny as they call it plans for me, but all I know is now I am strong enough for the surprises and shocks alike :)
Bring it on, life 8)
The only people that matter are the ones that loved you when you weren't very lovable :) Thank you, all you wonderful people.
I have learnt to be inspired. Yea, though I am the type that reads hundreds of quotes a day, I am the also the type that forgets it all the same day. But now I know what to remember, what to apply and what to follow. And this newness has made me stronger, and I have a goal after like five years. *Its pathetic how my last big goal was five years ago!*
I have learnt to forgive, myself and others too. There is one single truth I believe in - If something is meant to happen, it will happen. There is no point in pondering, but I would rather dwell in the possibility of what can go right :)
Now I have my dreams set, big fat dreams :) This girl now has bokeh filter in eyes :D This girl now maintains a journal, and writes 'Dear Diary', each night, every night. This girl now is fit and fantastic, a far cry from the chubby, plumpy *read average overweight* girl she used to be. This girl now kicks ass and does boy push ups :) She has some colors in her hair, and more in her eyes :)
And this girl now knows to chase her dreams. Against the people, against the words, against the worlds :) This girl, now, has million times more confidence than she ever did.
This girl has known rejection, so she accepts everything. And because she knows the pain, she is now smart. She forgives, forgets, but keeps it all in her conscious zone. Yes, she does slip now and then, but then she has her fabulous aunt who will get her back on track. Deepakka if you are reading this, I love you :D *giggles*
Now this girl knows, that we will do better things than just date the boy in the football team :) That there are dreams. That people will love you, and people will hate you and you have nothing to do with it.
This girl now enjoys the music, and understands the lyrics. She now understand that distances suck. She knows separations are under rated. And now she knows to appreciate things when they still are. This girl believes that everything happens for a reason, and everything happens for the good. No matter how crazy and insane and stupid and baseless and WhatTheFcuk the previous sentence is, she knows it is true.
This girl accepts compliments and she knows she is worth it. This girl still cries now and then, and makes sure she will never cry for the same reason all over again.
This girl is beautiful, and she knows it :) She knows that life is so beautiful and there is so much to smile about. She knows nothing lasts forever, so she should just drink all the madness in. This girl knows she is young, and this is the time to be silly. She knows now, if she follows all rules, she will lose out on all the fun ;) She knows, she gets only ten years to be in her twenties :)
Here are some posters I made today to inspire myself - life will get hectic in 12 hours :D And I am looking forward to it.
This blog has been a wonderful companion - publishing the best of me, and sometimes, the worst of me. Keeping the drafts secret, this blog knows those posts will never see the light ;) This blog is where all you amazing readers come and read my ramblings. It is where I have made some fantastic friends and well wishers. This is where I get appreciation, love and a little hate. Thank you so much all of you, those of you that let me know you were here, and those of you that remain silent. I like you, stalkers ;) Well not really, I love you :)
So here is to the new me. The improved version, the new Ms.Kashyap 2.0 ;) Here is to all the newness that will come to me from tomorrow. Here is to wonderful lessons and boring classes, longer hours and shorter nights, record writing and studying in moving bus, crushes and winks, working out more and sweating like a pig, junk and canteen, friends and frolic! Here is to chasing the dreams to realize them and setting of more dreams - bigger and better :)
Here is to life :)