Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Of Being Gang Raped in India

I was not supposed to write this. I had decided to put up a fun post instead. A haul post may be. Another giveaway.I had decided not to put my angst out, it never does any good anyway. I should have been doing Engineering Mathematics, calculating the unknowns.



Why should I even write about a girl being gang raped in Delhi, The Mighty Capital of The Republic of India? I am plain disgusted to say I belong to this country. No, I am not ashamed of my nationality. I am ashamed of my countrymen. Of my country's, men. And their fucked up mindsets.

Of how much they lack a morale. Of how heartless they are. Of how mean and mind fucked they were when they gang raped a girl. A helpless woman. Impotent bastards. Wait, they are not bastards. I don't want to insult their hapless mothers who never had a clue of their sons turning out like this. If they did,they would have strangled them to death as soon as they were born. Al least, I would have.

What has happened to this country? Where are we heading? An adult woman doesn't have security at 11 PM in the heart of the country? The Capital city? And we ask for a night life? What the fuck is wrong with us? Why do such incidents keep repeating?

She gets thrown out of a moving bus. Her friend gets beaten up black and blue. Being raped by many a men in a bus, being touched without her permission, heck, forcefully fulfilling their aimless libidos, and then getting beaten up and thrown out of a bus. Imagining her plight sends cold shivers down my spine. How horrid is that? How pathetic is the mindset of those men?

Standing in her position, I feel a hundred eyes on me every moment. All her life, she and her family will be reminded of this. Of how she is a rape victim. Of how, she was molested and raped. Of how she must have gotten groped. The society which is pitying her right now, the same society will never let her forget this.

She will become the latest example of why girls shouldn't roam around the city without a trusted male with her - father, brother, husband or boyfriend. Provided they are well armed to take control of a situation if it arises, that is. They might as well blame the girls for dressing 'provocatively'. Everybody will tell you how correct they were when they told you to get home before the sun sets. Curfews get stronger. A hundred calls in a day. Of course they do it for our 'protection'.

What is protection here? Covering ourselves up from head to toe because you can't control your erections? Because every other female you see is born to satisfy your hunger? Every other woman is supposed to be clad 100% just to make sure you sexual arousal doesn't affect her? Or is it because you are too impotent to get a girl friend? Or a wife? Why?

Why can't men just fucking grow up? I mean the minds, not the other things they so proudly possess. Why can't they have a clean mindset? I am not asking anybody to become a saint. Get into a healthy relationship. If you are worth it, if you are respectable and dependable, there are a thousand single, eligible and successful women out there searching for Mr.Right. Become one for them.
We are not in Medieval India anymore. Nobody is asking you to 'preserve your flower' until marriage. Be true in a relationship, have a commitment. Let your family and friends know about your girlfriend. Give her an assurance of you being truthful. Ask the same from her. Plan a life. Use a condom.

Why go around checking out girls like they are items? Heck, why call them items? Why expect us to dress up modest for you? Its a democratic country for crying out loud. We will wear anything we want. We will wear bikinis and go to office and college. Who the fuck are to ask? Just don't use it as an excuse if you are too aroused to think straight. Grow up, be a man. In the true sense.

What do we do now? Those men that raped her, what do we do to those mongrels? Wait, mongrels have hearts. They won't go around mating female dogs without their permission. They woo them, get into their trust zone and then mate. And make cute little puppies.
A strong law to punish them? Hang them to death may be? Is capital punishment the answer? The Honorable President won't grant them mercy? Sure about that?
Wait. How many cases get registered anyway? If, tomorrow morning, you get groped in your college, or your boss asks you to sleep with him to grant you a promotion that you so badly deserve, will you go lodge a complaint? Will your parents be okay with stepping the police station? Will the police help us? What guarantee do we have that even after getting into prison, the men won't come out on bail in hours?

In this country, you can certainly expect to be behind bars for talking about a certain old man's death, but you might as well be sure of walking free after raping a girl. After all, women should be making sandwiches know?
Yuck. Plain disgusting. Disgusting is an underestimation.

What needs a change here is the minds. The way men are raised. Teach them about equality. Tell them about how women are not sex dolls. Ask them to respect women.Before you do that, you respect women. Respect your mother, your sister and her friends. Next time you see a prostitute, respect her as she is working to make a living. Understand that she didn't get into that job with all her heart. Know that she is doing because she has no other go. Also know that, her job is flourishing because there are still men out there, frustrated with extreme arousal and nowhere to go, no better way to spend that tremendous energy.

Tell your sons that having sex is not the mark of manliness. Making love is.

And girls, get strong. You are the only ones that can protect yourself. Be there for you. Until this country is sane enough, have some security. Male friends, brothers, dads. Or a group of girls big enough not to get gang raped.

PS: I found this. Do read it.

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63 comments:

  1. I'm a GIRL, living in India. Luckily my parents allowed me to take birth, they didn't kill me (abort) for being a girl child. Then I passed by my childhood and teens without being raped. Now I'm married and my husband has been kind enough not to burn me for dowry. I think I'm so blessed and fortunate. For a GIRL born and living in India I think these are the greatest fortunes she can ask for! Let India bow its head in shame and utter disgrace, for this is a nation that cannot protect her own daughters!

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    1. Kudos on that comment Renji, you have reflected the pathetic condition.

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    2. i think it's sad that these are what we need to be grateful for...basic human kindness has become so rare in this messed up country that we actually need to be grateful for basic things like love and respect...

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  2. wat a write-up Namitha!! kudos!

    seriously we are a country loaded with f**king sick men..

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  3. I could not even think straight when i read abt the Rape for the first time. like seriously!!! And they say we are equals!!! In what sense?? How are we ever going to feel safe even if we have a guy friend with us!! And why should we have to have somebody with us all the time in the first place!! Isn't India a free country? Its high time the politicians and the citizens do something abt these shameless,heartless people...

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    1. That is the reason I never wrote about it soon. Its all too mind fucking to think straight. Hope so Jyo, all we have is hope.

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  4. It feels so so sad. I feel numb just thinking abt it. We can nevrr imagine what that girl is going through. It is absolutely pathetic. :(

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  5. Nice post! I hope things change and every girl feels safe.
    Horrible things like this happen everywhere, but I didn't know that in India they happen so much.

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    1. Thank you Demi :) Such things are never justified! Any where :(

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  6. Well written...hopefully the Govt will have the balls to take a stand this time and not let it be just another rape incident and forget!

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    1. Thank you Pout Pretty! Absolutely hope so!

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  7. Very good post dear. I feel so scared now to even go to a mall after 7 PM. Those people are demons. They must be shot and eradicated from the face of earth like polio.
    A little boy of around 3 years of age, whom i met at a relatives marriage was playing with me and i told him that like how he goes to school, i go to office. For that he asked me how come i go to office as girls must only cook. TRUST ME I AM NOT LYING.! The very same words came from the 3 year old's mouth. His family is a upper middle class one and both of his parents are educated. I felt disgusted at his parents that i was not able to look them at their eyes. They are doing a wonderful job in teaching their 3 year old about discrimination. This is just a single example. India is filled with such examples. It will take centuries for our country to be safe and free from discrimination

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    1. OMG he said that?! That is so pathetic! We can't blame the kid, every thing is wrong with the upbringing :(
      thank you for your insightful comment :)

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  8. I did read about this incident and feel really scared.. i cant even imagine how terrible she might feel.. where is our world heading to? :( we just have to kill off those bastards.. cut off their you know what. That is what is causing these problems right..

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    1. This country has gotten reckless, we need a law like in Dubai. You are right, making a few men impotent in physical sense will scare the life out of the rest.

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    2. Yes. You are right. It should be like that way only. No other punishment feels justice….this is the only justice that should be offered in such cases………it should be made legal to cut their potent part they carry so proudly and use it as a weapon to suck out entire life from a girl and leave her to burn in hell alive all life………..they should feel humiliated the same way the girl whom they raped does…………their souls also should burn with every breath they take…………no other punishment can cause the effect……….no other punishment is justice…………..it should be an eye for an eye…………..

      I am a married girl. My husband asks to plan a family………..but I feel so insecure for my daughter that is just in his imagination……….that I pray to god to not send her in my life at all……..we might not be strong enough to protect her......that sums up being a female in our great India............

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  9. Namitha, I hope every man out there reads this post. and reads it with their heart and mind in it.

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  10. Nicely written... and I really wish that the govt takes action against the accused pretty soon. Also, if India proclaims that the Girl child is precious, then it must take actions to secure them first and protect them against such stupid vultures.

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    1. Thank you Nivedita. I hope it does. Call us precious? Treat us the same!

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  11. very impressive.! hope the worst minded creatures( cant even cal them "men" n disrespect other gud ppl) r made to die wit pain each moment.. oly when a fear is evoked in everybody, oly then such incidents can b controlled.. No wonder they r viruses spoiling the place, b4 they get out of control, we must kill them.. also d Delhi Police (they dnt come under Delhi Govt. as per Delhi CM) helped d rapists to protect their prestige by covering their faces.! really sick.! when Jaya ji was tryin to talk in d house, d speaker wasnt even givin her tym to spk.! when such things r nt important for a Govt., is oly money makin important for d Govt.?! n ya, talk against any politician u end up bein in jail.! dis is wat d status of democracy in India.! n yet ppl dnt come out to vote for d right candidate to tc of them n d nation.!

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    1. Yea, we can't generalize. OMG ya? i didn't know that! I know Delhi is a territory and all, but Mrs.Jaya not allowed to speak? How crude is that?!
      I don't know what to say and to be honest, I don't believe in the politics here to bring about a change.
      Lets all sit back and hope for the best!

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  12. Very scary. I even can't imagine this. At first I used to thing, there's nothing like this. I never knew how these kind of men think. Till 2 years back I used to go out alone thinking that Indian girls are free now and we can go out with no risk at all. Trust me. I never knew about this bad side of men. Then I started facing problems and now I'm so scared to go out alone. I prefer to go on vehicle only and after 8pm, with my bro. All the incidents happened to me on the road, like misbehavior etc. made me so coward that I'm still trying to overcome it. I wish all such men vanish from the Earth. Its hard to know what a man thinks about girls.

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    1. I totally agree with you Gayatri! Eve teasing is treated like some petty crime, heck, its not even treated like one. I am also not allowed to take my vehicle out after 9 PM alone. I don't know whether to call it being coward or just one tested method to remain safe :(

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    2. We know how we feel when someone teases badly and touches wrongly. Its really hard to imagine that girls situation. I don't understand why how they can be so cruel. I don't have words to say. Even as you said about your maid, there is still domestic violence in many families. Women aren't safe even at their own house. What to say? That's why it became difficult to choose a right partner too. Anyways you wrote a really nice post dear. You wrote my mind. Love your blog dear.

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  13. It was only because things are so scary all the more in the NCRT that I never actually applied for a job there even though I had some good opportunities. It's actually not only the men who should be blamed, it's the entire society. Women here are considered only in terms or social relations-- mother, sister, etc. but rarely as 'human beings'. It's not only the men, many ladies would assist in the killing of their daughter-in-laws while extorting them for dowry or just because they are women.
    Sadly, the politicians would think of everything in terms or votebank. Women are even harassed while trying to even simply lodge a complaint. The police would act as a 'moral police' in stead of doing their job.
    Even in Kolkata things are getting bleak and these days I seriously consider carrying pepper sprays around.
    When nobody helps, at least, we can have some kind of protection may be.

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    1. that is so sad Nivedita, to miss out on good opportunities because there is no security, plain sucks.Yea, society is to be blamed! My maid still gets kicked by her drunk husband every night,yet she still takes him home and nurses him. Nobody to save her from domestic violence. Such is the sorry state.
      Don't even get me started on politics and government.
      Now that is something scarier to hear.
      Let this not spread.

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  14. Very well written.. India seriously needs to change.

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  15. The mothers of these men need to take the blame. They as women have failed to instill respect for a woman in their so called demons-in-sons-clothing. These men should be left to the public where they are stoned to death by the hands of women but first they should be cut by blades on their genitals by the women in the crowd. Then maybe it will come close to what those bastards put that girl through.

    I wholly agree that the girl will have to live it for her entire life. As if near death once was not enough...She would have to live those moments again and again for the rest of her life! Catching and jailin thses assh*les is just a slap on the wrist. Meanwhile the girl is goin through multiple surgeries just to survive. Somehow it does feel like the end of the world...

    God bless her soul...

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    1. This is by far the best comment, thanks you both!
      Yea, I read :( She has had multiple injuries in intestines and there are broken ribs. She apparently is getting in and out of coma and weeps and weeps every time she is conscious.

      I sincerely hope she recovers for the good.

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    2. They have removed parts of her intestine...Can u imagine the brutality of the incident...Sends shivers down my spine...

      The politicians are a joke....they are promising 2 lakhs to the victims, takin charge of medical exp, promising jobs to the victim and her frnd....WTF?!? Are they kidding me?!? As if any of this matters to the girl or will help to ease the trauma.... Meanwhile the MF's are enjoyin some peaceful time in jail....Why the hell are their faces not shown to the public...they have no right to privacy after committing such a heinous crime...

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    3. OMG that is so pathetic :( To be honest, I am not listening to news, no updates on the her condition. Its so traumatising, I wanna hide somewhere.
      One of the rapists as asked for death. I hope the Government listens and actually grants death to all of them.
      You called them all the right words.
      I respect you.

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  16. All I can say after reading your touching post is, I can't believe how low people especially men have stooped to. Because of my anger, it's difficult to say a lot but all I can say is, people like that will NEVER get peace in their lives. And I am hoping that for once, society will have the decency to punish the criminals and not stigmatize the victim.

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    1. I too was numb all the while Maila, I can understand when you say you can't express.
      I so hope those men get punished so bad, others will shiver at the thought of such crimes!

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  17. well written.

    Hey...umm.... This post of mine relates here...so thought to share.
    www.koncern.blogspot.com/2011/11/being-human.html?m=1

    do follow my blog too.. :)

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  18. I love the way u wrote ur article...it's much deeper than words u wrote. No one can erase mental scars of this incident from her mind....hate those assholes to core

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    1. Thank you Smita :) if only my words make an impact on one man's morale, I am gonna be so glad!

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  19. Its a shame that till this day women feel insecure in this country...and have to go out with someone who can "protect" them or atleast provide a sense of "security"...India will be truly free when a girl can come back home at night alone and not feel scared of being stalked, teased, molested or raped. I have hope that day will come...till then, as you rightly said, lets be strong. Nicely written article girl..I just hope justice is served this time.
    Best, zia
    http://tisallaboutthefashion.blogspot.in/

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    1. I second that! Only then you can consider India to be a free, sane country.
      Thank you, Zia!

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  20. this is such a pathetic incident.... don't when people will wake up and try to understand there responsibilities... It feels so shame on govt and police for not taking any action against them immediately... When a public comments about some on FB they come with all the rights n all but where the hell have they shut there asses and sitting...

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    1. IKR?! She was on road, naked and helpless in a pool of blood. Bitter cold at its best on a flyover.
      Those men deserve a very cruel death. May be not kill them 100%, but cut them in bits keeping them as a whole and throw them out of a moving bus. They should writhe in pain in a pool of cold blood and die a horrible death.

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  21. I hope they don't politicize this incident and take an action that can help prevent such cases in the future. Education plays a role but we see the educated populace doing the very same thing. And they are being repeated because there are no strict laws. A death penalty/life long sentences should be a must when proven guilty to put an end to these crimes.

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    1. Sincerely hope so Chetana. Punishment is the only thing that can change these filthy mindsets. Education with ethics and moral values is the need of the hour.

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  22. Its sad. I wanted to take a deeper look at this problem and when I did a little bit of research on the internet I found some facts that might change your opinion a little bit - http://goo.gl/E7ZTl, please do take a read...

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    1. Thank you for that wonderful article Manish, I appreciate the effort you have put in. The western countries might have a higher record of rapes, but that is not an excuse to this incident here,right? Its somewhere calming to know that India ranks much lower but its not non-existent. Neither is any rape negligible. I read about another rape incident in West Bengal, where a girl was raped and set on fire by her boyfriend and his friends. Ask why? Because she wanted a clear cut answer on marriage. Like you said, we need education here. Education with morale.
      Thank you :)

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  23. Well Written Girl. I hope this issue wont end up until the all the accused are hanged till death...People have turned into Animals these days

    About to reblog the same article in my blog...

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    1. Thank you Saneed, I hope so to. Lets not compare these men to animals, animals have a heart and they don't rape.

      thank you very much :)

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    2. Comparing them with animals is an insult for animals, Very true even animals have a heart and they don't rape....

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    3. And we Lost her !! Shame on Rapists and Govt.

      RIP....

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  24. A pathetic thought that entered my mind last night was..isnt it better to kill girl child in womb than have them born in india to face continous humiliations, questions and restrictions. Maal, the slang used when a woman is looking sexy... item song, a guest appearance song by an actress.... Such objectification. A wake up call. ..and another... absolutely nothing is changing... Because the mind is set. Nothing is going to change until we, the mothers of next generation stand up and teach our male and female children the 'correct' rights and wrongs

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    1. You have absolutely mirrored my words di, its all in the mind. Maal, item, and much more things which I don't want to tell here.
      Yea, the mothers of the new generation have to make the change. Teach their sons about what is being ethical, what is it all about physical attractions and what it is to respect, to be human.

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  25. I am touched as this is not only the story of India but across the border in Pakistan such case happens and u know the heck of it more than half are not even reported as pple do not want to be the talk of the town as they are right there family will not be spared for next 7 generations for the deed they did not even wish for and there girl was sentenced to death even living as she was raped by some *****... So sorry for all these ladies and pray for our and our daughter safety all over.

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    1. That is so awful! Being wronged and not being able to fight for the right thing :(
      That is the only thing we can do without fear here - hope and pray!

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  26. You hit the emotions bang on!!!I am numb, cold, emotionless after reading various accounts of what just happened..
    Even in the newspapers, all they have written is "she was raped and assaulted" and "her intestines are in the wrong place"..but no one talks about how the intestines actually went to the wrong place..the rod was inserted in her vagina..i ABSOLUTELY CANNOT imagine this..these bloody humans..I m sorry to say this but the 1st impulsive reaction of mine was that the same thing should be done to them..but then that is no solution..
    Honestly, I dont know what kind of a punishment would be right because nothing in this world can undo what they did..

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    1. Since the day I got to know about this.........I am experiencing continuous numbness in one corner of my mind………I want to cry out loud for that girl………..I wish if somehow I could kill all those bastards painfully……… I want to see them writhing in pain, crying every second and begging for death…….if only a news of the girl is making me feel horrible………I can’t imagine her pain………….I just don’t want to think about that……….I want my mind to stop functioing......

      The other day I saw some protestors on road in my city with all the banners of saving girls and all after this case was reported………..and I noticed some of them checking out passing girls, drooling over them and lust in their eyes…how sick……..I am just unable to express what I felt at that time……….

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    2. @Shruti: I saved the gory details from the post, it was too horrifying and disturbed me crazy.
      I am out of words to call them anything.

      @Mona: Really? Such assholes! They are in for a cause and they ogle? So sickening. Argh!

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