Tuesday 19 May 2015

We are the generation that doesn't know romance.

A 'Goodnight' message is effort. A reply right after the ticks turn blue shows priorities. 'Heart'ing almost every photo you share means he definitely likes you. After the fifth date, its okay not to want to label what ever that is happening between the both of you. If you don't kiss on the third date, he's not that into you. Nobody has to know about the 'dating'. If she calls you her boyfriend in front of a couple of people, shit just got real. If he uses condoms on your insistence even though he doesn't really like using them, he loves you. Truly madly deeply. 

We are the generation that doesn't know romance. So we proclaim the absence of it. Because our expectations weren't met before, we don't keep any, anymore. We willingly believe in the non existence of love. We deny the possibility of unadulterated love. The Notebook becomes a break up classic, to cry over tubs of ice-cream, to experience love only in fiction. In Noah and in Allie. We allow ourselves a few fancy issues and run away from any real bonding. We start a new relationship almost knowing its not gonna last. We put an expiry date on it. We look around for better prospects while staying with another person. We compare them to the 'better' prospects and expect a change. We blindly create a person in the fragments of our imagination and expect the unsuspecting other person to match up to it.We are unforgiving of the other person's flaws and imperfections, we are hypocrites. We quote lines of love. Lines of love of how love, is blind to flaws and imperfections. We read priorities through the frequency of replies to silly text messages. We measure stability by the number of people that know about us, about whatever it is we chose not to label because it complicates things. We measure intimacy with the level of sexting. We define the commitment by the number of times we have had sex, not made love. We call it love pretending to know about it all. Or we call it the loss of love, pretending to know about it all. 

We are always on the look out for the better. Better looks, better income, better car. Better prospects. Its our choice, no? So we hop from heart to heart searching for something we don't even know. Yearning for true love while we are too afraid to give it, too cynical to accept it, too scared to believe in it. We don't believe in fairy-tale endings. We believe in endings, that's all. We go on dates. Instead of looking into the eyes of the other person, we keep our eyes on our cellphones. We want to tag the location in the Instagram update of the date, the close up shot of the coffee. We let our coffee get cold whilst running behind the right angle that will fetch likes. We forget to remember the warmth of the other person's palm. We are cool, we aren't clingy. We don't send six messages of all alphabet in caps lock when we miss the other person, we keep to ourselves assuming they must be busy. We aren't clingy. We call, and when they don't receive, we assume they are held up. If we call again and they don't receive, we assume they are neglecting us. We aren't clingy. 

We don't know that real efforts aren't efforts, really. They are done out of love, they aren't done for a purpose. We buy flowers, yes. But we won't remember the fragrance. We will remember that we bought flowers. We will go to concerts and laugh at the other person's annoying voice, adorable. After things end, we add it to the list of quirks that transformed into annoying. We will hold hands and secretly worry about sweaty palms. 

We will love, but never really love. Because we are in love with the idea of being in love, most of us will never really, love.

Because we are the generation that doesn't know romance.

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  1. Ah story of our lives! It's so funny how everyone has just accepted 'love' and given up on the idea of old school romance. I guess like you said it's the cynical mind that doesn't want failure which leads us to have zero expectations *sigh*
    Idk about others but if and when I ever love someone it will be much more than the mediocre and conventional 'love' :p

    1. Haha, true that! :)

      And I am sure of that, you are a romantic soul! ;)

      Thank you, Sakshi :)

  2. The other day I was with few friends of mine. There were three couples in that group. So me being curios, asked them of their proposal stories. To my surprise all three got committed over texts! Your post reminds me of that time. I may have never been on a relationship but I know that love is better expressed personally to their face than your mobile screen.
    Nice post by the way...

    1. Awww, true that. Many moments happen over screens :)

      Thank you!


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