Monday 4 May 2015

How To Love A Girl Who Doesn't Love Too Soon

So you met her at the coffee stop. You couldn't take your eyes off her chocolate brown ones. You fell down the slope of her cheekbones and straight into the weirdly placed dimple on her cheeks. Her laughter still resounds in your head like an annoying song that just doesn't go away. You don't want the song go away, really. So you mustered all the courage you could and asked her out. She said yes, you knew she would. You felt the connection the moment you noticed the mole on the side of her nose. 

The first date led to the second. You held her hand and kissed the back of her palm. She leaned in and planted a kiss on the chip of your shoulder. On long drives, she sprung surprising pecks on your cheeks, catching you off guard no matter how many times she kissed you like that. 

Days passed by and now you are in your comfort zone with her. The text messages aren't an emergency anymore, you don't have to chase her anymore. On lonely nights, you wonder about the lack of talk from her side. You send her an anxious 'Hey!' and she replies, almost instantly, almost like she is so eager to talk to you. But didn't you spend the whole day in a muddle of thoughts of what you are to her? She is probably running hot and cold, you explain it to yourself. She probably is taking her time, no? You justify the lack of messages as her busy life. A part of you silently worries about her losing interest in you. Is she bored of me? Well, probably not. 

This is what it is to love a girl that doesn't love too soon. Because her heart got broken into a million pieces the last time, she doesn't wear it on her sleeve anymore. And that is why, cliche lines like the previous one make her roll her eyes. Because the last time that she said I love you was met with a nothingness, she doesn't say I love you in a heart beat anymore. Do not call that immaturity. Do not tell her that life is too short and one should love easily and forgive easily and forget more easily and yadayadayada because at the core of your heart, even you know its all bullshit. She is now the kind of girl who will evaluate your love before giving you the privilege of her love. If you are too impatient waiting for that to happen, you might as well walk away. She would rather have you walk away than break your heart in the process of evaluation. 

No, she is not messing with you. No, she isn't toying you around. She understands the sensitivity of your feelings, she knows the intensity that comes with loving someone. She believes in the slightest possibility of you being the one, probably. Even if that thought itself is ridiculous, she does think of it like it exists, may be. She hasn't thought of you as her husband. She hasn't for once, wondered how it would be to be the mother of your children. Her Pinterest doesn't house the boards for your wedding. She hasn't named the unborn kids. She will not, for a quite while now. 

She is probably not the girl of your dreams, she probably never will be. She will not chase you when you act pricey, she will not obsessively try and communicate with you. She will lose herself in herself anytime before she immerses herself in you, until you prove your love. If you have the patience enough to get her guards down, she will show you the most beautiful love story. She will not listen to sappy music and smile thinking of you in the first month of knowing you, she will probably remind herself of you when screaming along to 'Single Ladies', and may be, just may be, grin about she not being single. She will not whine and nag you for your attention for she has survived ignorance from the guy she thought was the love of her life. No, she is not comparing you to him, he is not her scale of measurement. But she is wise enough to show you your place when you are erring. 

So when you fall in love with a girl like this, give her your time. When she fails to make an eye contact, stay back and wait for her to look at you again. She will, I promise. When she pauses for a second before she says, "I love you too", don't lose your heart. She is just reassuring herself. When she doesn't get jealous about the women in your life, don't take it as disinterest. She still is taking her time to making you hers. She will wage a war if you mention a recurring ex in a few weeks time, and you'll not be able to hold that smile back. When she pouts then and tells you she is jealous, hug her and tell her you love her. Yes, feed her 'childish' behavior, she is starting to love you, hopefully. When she finally confesses to having missed you all day, embrace her. She really did. 

To love a girl who doesn't love too soon is a penance. She will test your patience, your beliefs and your faith in her. She will make you question love. She will drive you crazy. Her antics will be maddening. But when she finally falls in love with you, it will be all worth it. You know why? Because when she finally falls in love with you, she gives you her heart, the most guarded part of her. The possession of her that was locked away to safety. So when she finally falls in love with you, treasure her. 

If you don't have the patience for this, don't fall in love with her. If you think she is too pricey and the effort is too much, take your heart back from her doorstep and walk away. Because you know why? To love a girl that doesn't love too soon, it requires guts. To be loved by a girl that doesn't loves too soon, its a beauty that can't be contained in words. 


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  1. Right Namitha.. Well written..:)

  2. Replies
    1. To love a girl who doesn't love too soon? :)

  3. Wow such a beautiful post! I can relate to each and every word and hope at some point men are able to understand a girl as well as you do 😁

    1. Aww Sakshi, you are back after long! Thank you :)

  4. I see glimpses of me in this girl :')


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