Saturday 10 August 2013

Pointers To Keep In Mind When You Are Dating a Blogger

So a while ago I was chilling on my couch, and contemplating on life, you know. *pushes nerd glasses back to nose*. I was surfing *the web. Tee hee :D* *okay, that was lame!* and came across an article on why you should never date a *InsertSoAndSoHere*. I could relate to how typical SoAndSOs are :D Right then I started thinking the things that we bloggers do - fashion bloggers, beauty bloggers. Here is a light hearted post to keep in mind while dating a blogger ;) *Excuse me for the majorly girl-oriented post, its habit -_- * Just to clarify, I might be wrong, or biased. Apologies :D

1. We're photo obsessed.
Yes, we are. We will take a hundred shots of the same pose, just in case, you know.

2. We're hoarders.
We have a minimum of eight face washes, fourteen moisturizers, three toners - any given day.



3. We are Instagrammers.
If you go through our feed, you'll definitely find chunks our days in there.



4. We are Grammar Nazis.
Most of us are. We know what a huge turn off bad Grammar is.

5. We semi-pout.
Majority of us, yes. How else will you catch the damned lipstick color?



6. We click in different lights.
Yellow light, natural light, tube light, flash. Yes, we are helpful like that.

7. We are usually saying
"OMG THAT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL ON YOU!" "JEEZ BABE YOU ARE SO HOT!" "Oohh sad :( It will wash me out, but it looks so fabulous on you!" "IT WAS SOLD OUT!" "SOANDSO IS COMING TO INDIA!" "LOVEE!" "Sorry for MIA, you guys"

8. We deal with things.
"Nice post" "Great.." "I am following you on GFC, Bloglovin, Instagram, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Foursquare, Quora, NetworkedBlogs, YourStreet, InFrontOfYourHouse. SO FOLLOW ME BACK, BEATCHH!" "Could you please publish this 4 page press release on your blog for free and give this brand all the promotion four times a week? KthanksBye"

9. We know our tones and shades.
"This coral lippie has pink undertones" "I would suggest the dark skinned beauties to stay away from this"

10. We always have quick fixes.
"Smudged kohl? No worries. Use a Q tip. Voila!"

11. We are understanding.
"MAC Cosmo is out of stock in your town? Its okay, I'll buy it for you here and mail it to you"

12.  We are helpful and caution others.
"This broke me out :( "

13. We have an opinion about everything.
That girl wearing wrong shoes, the muffin top, the split ends, the eye makeup and lipstick both being in-your-face. We will tell it to you, don't call us judgmental. We are like that.

14. We know how lighting works.
Most of us aren't pro photographers, but we definitely know how to click pictures that will put Vogue to shame.

15. That said, we click products.
Lid on, lid off. Product squeezed out. Cap. Back of the product, aerial shot. Sometimes random accessories thrown around the lipstick, and you shall not ask us why. And its not weird. We do it for our readers, even if neighbour uncle thinks we are retarded because we hold the moisturizer up in the air facing the sunlight for the sun kissed photograph.


I would kill to be Olay tube :\ I don't get this much attention from anybody. 



16. We are posers.
Yes, if you fall in our boyfriend category, you better own a fabulous camera. #BrowniePoint Its okay if you don't own one, just use ours and click twenty eight dozen pictures of us - us looking away from the camera, us thinking, us smiling. Have patience while we set our hair. Oh, and when we want you to focus on the accessory you know. I mean yea cover my lips too, but it shouldn't be in focus. Like you know, just cover the accessory well. And my lips in the picture looking nice but out of focus. Give attention to my shoes too.

We can sometimes give models a run for their money.



17. We know brands.
Yes we do.

18. We are updated.
With current sales, latest launches, and services.

19. We love 4 O Clock.
Because that is when the pictures come out best.

20. Watch movies with us
While we give you running commentary about how the heroine's lipstick is MAC Mehr. Definitely MAC Mehr.

21. We are friendly and approachable.
We ask random strangers what color is on their lips. We explain to them about our blogs and why it is extremely important for them to let us take a picture of that perfect tan satchel. We also voluntarily help people choose the right shade of foundation, even if it creeps them out.

22. We are control freaks.
If the cup of coffee is not placed in 88 degree angle, the Insta pic won't look pretty dammit!

23. Sunsets make us happy.
Because we own the same colored lipsticks. If not, we are buying it in our next trip to the mall.

24. We stare at random pretty girls in public.
No, we are not hitting on them. We are just breaking down the makeup.

25. We are economical.
We don't spend a bomb on manicures and pedicures every alternate week. We know it all, baby.

26. We are mentally very strong.
We don't give in to SAs all the time, even if they follow us to three more outlets.

27. We make collages.
Lots of them

28. We have a right over our pictures.
We textmark them with soandsoblogspot.in. We have a friggin' disclaimer.



29. We are MUAs.
For mommy, sister, aunt, her daughter.

30. We are insanely fast.
A dab of BB cream, a swipe of kajal and a lipgloss. *Swoosh*, we are ready.

31. Our brain is Polyvore.
If you don't know it, know it. Our last thoughts in the night are of the collage for the next morning.

32. We are
"A twenty something girl. Aquarian. Talkative. Braggy. Sassy." and one word descriptions like that. You'll never know our real age.

33.When you take us to a romantic dinner,
DON'T EAT until we Instagram the crap out of the dish in all possible angles.




34. We love hashtags.
#blogger #love #fashion #fashionbloggers #latest #haul #pink #mydaughter #daddy #Lakme #MAC #Maybelline #budgetbuy #howdafuqis5kapairshoesisbudgetbuy

35. We are pretty good at coding
If we are on Wordpress.

36. We know marketing.
"To try your luck in the giveaway, follow me on all possible social networking sites, tell me you followed, share, keep the post public, bring me the blood of a virgin, break a limb"

37. We break laws.
By sneaking in mobile cameras and clicking pictures for our readers - preview sales and stuff like that.

38. Numbers matter to us.
Facebook likes, shares and page views.

39. Inches matter to us.
Yes, a three inch stiletto is more comfortable than a five inch. But screw comfort, five inch is pretty. Shoepidity - wearing shoes that kills the feet, 'cuz its just too pretty a pair.
Wait, what were you thinking, perv?

40. We are self obsessed.
You'll find us clicking our lips, eyes, back of the wrist, palm. Don't worry, they are for the swatches.

41. If you really really want to be in our good books, know our URL. Byheart.

42. We keep the suspense up
By posting previews



43. We are media obsessed.
Should we explain?

What are the other typical things? Shoot a comment ;)

Images: I have taken some from Sweet And Bitter BlogI Simply Love Makeup,Stylish By Nature :) thank you ladies! :*

44. We are courteous.
We provide back links.

PS: This is a fun post. No offence intended to anybody. I myself do so many of the above things :D


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38 comments:

  1. tat was one hilarious read.. loved it! :D

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  2. OMG Namitha you have done it again!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha HILARIOUS to the core!!! and each one of the point is so bang on!!!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL...
    The best out of the lot?

    33.When you take us to a romantic dinner,
    DON'T EAT until we Instagram the crap out of the dish in all possible angles

    15. That said, we click products.
    Lid on, lid off. Product squeezed out. Cap. Back of the product, aerial shot. Sometimes random accessories thrown around the lipstick, and you shall not ask us why. And its not weird. We do it for our readers, even if neighbour uncle thinks we are retarded because we hold the moisturizer up in the air facing the sunlight for the sun kissed photograph.

    AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME Post!!! :D

    And thanks for linking back to me :*

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    Replies
    1. :D Haha Samyukta :* thank you! :) Your pics fit in so perfectly, so thank you :)

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  3. such an awesome post...:) I was literally in tears because I was laughing so hard as I kept reading :D

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  4. Goshhhhhhhhhhhh Namitha.. U r a Hardcore blogger ...baby!! Each n every word is like an autobiography of a blogger's women.. Loved it......... Damnnn girl! U R SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FRIGGIN Talented.. Awefuckinsome Article.. Must read XOXOXO

    Keep Rockin!
    Luv n Luck
    Ric

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erica! :) You are a darling, thank you so much love :)

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  5. amazingg .. only u cud hv think tis n write it tat hilariously .., love u babess

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    Replies
    1. Punam you are always so sweet, thank you! Love you too! <3

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  6. haha awesome one..agree wid each n every points :D

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  7. hahahah :D :D thoroughly enjoyed reading this! And the best part is I had a good laugh at myself! :D

    Oh and btw please follow me on blah blah blah and blah blah blah and blah blah bleehhh :P

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  8. hahahaha.....This was hillarious Namitha! loved it to the core.... :)

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  9. soooo bloody true... loved reading it :))

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  10. OMG! Hahaaha! I could actually relate with every single point you have stated! :D

    ....When you take us to a romantic dinner,
    DON'T EAT until we Instagram the crap out of the dish in all possible angles

    .....That said, we click products.
    Lid on, lid off. Product squeezed out. Cap. Back of the product, aerial shot. Sometimes random accessories thrown around the lipstick, and you shall not ask us why. And its not weird. We do it for our readers, even if neighbor uncle thinks we are retarded because we hold the moisturizer up in the air facing the sunlight for the sun kissed photograph.

    .......We are self obsessed.
    You'll find us clicking our lips, eyes, back of the wrist, palm. Don't worry, they are for the swatches.

    ...... If you really really want to be in our good books, know our URL. Byheart.


    ---Truly Hilarious! :D

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  11. OMG !! This is soo awesomee..loved each and every point ! Fabb post Namitha :)

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  12. 8. 13. 32.. ROFL!! And when I saw Samyuktas pic I was like I thought I was on Namitha's blog and had to check again.. This post was hilarious!!

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    Replies
    1. haha Karishma! :) Well her pics were like bang on right, so I used them :) thanks love :)

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  13. hahhahahha hilarous....
    i so can relate myself to so many things :P

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  14. This is honestly the best thing i've readin ages and smiling with each statement. Heheheh
    Instant folower. ;)

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  15. loved it....really hilarious

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  16. Namitha, Awesome post, I came to your blog through Suma's post share on FB...love it to T :)
    had an awesome fun time reading it, girl you are great :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Saumya, you are super sweet! :)

      Delete
  17. hahahaha what an awesome piece of writing. Your rock, girl :)

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  18. Seriously, this is good stuff..Every point is bang on..Loved reading through :)

    ReplyDelete

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